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Episode 102 Transcript
Principle I: Know Yourself
Hello friends and listeners. I am happy to have you here for this series on Metaphysical Humanism.
In the last episode I talked about what metaphysics is – What does it mean for something to be metaphysical? And we discussed metaphysical humanism and metaphysical humanistic science, and that metaphysics is the science of spirituality, or of the invisible laws of the universe. Metaphysical humanism is the area where I have my doctorate and so most of what I teach, and share is about the metaphysical realm and how it can help you master your life.
Last episode I also shared that humans are more powerful than they know, and you can access metaphysical tools even when you don’t understand how they work. They are invisible tools that, like quantum laws of the universe, we just don’t have the knowledge or capability of seeing them – yet. But we can see results in our practices. And having access to these tools we can use them to better humanity, better the earth, and better our own lives.
I mentioned there are 5 principles of my metaphysical humanism practice as a minister. These are my core values, really. These are foundational principles in every lesson I offer.
The five principles are:
1. Know yourself.
2. Be responsible for yourself.
3. Honor and respect free-will.
4. Choose Love.
5. Become Self-Actualized.
I want to expand on these principles and today I’ll start with the first one. KNOW YOURSELF
I also call this the WISDOM PRINCIPLE.
The great philosopher Aristotle said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
And I think that might be true. When we don’t know ourselves, what we like, what we want in life, our dreams, and hopes, our values – well, what could be more important than that kind of wisdom?
What good is it to have all the knowledge of the world, and yet have no idea what your place is in it?
Lao Tzu an Eastern Philosopher who lived in the 6th century BCE, said of wisdom, “ knowing others is intelligence, knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength – mastering yourself is true power.”
Why would two of the greatest philosophers ever be so concerned with people knowing themselves – and why are these some of their most famous quotes in their extensive bodies of work?
We have a saying today when we observe others being hypocritical or judgemental – we say “that person is not very self-aware…”
And what we mean by that is that the person doesn’t seem to notice their own behavior or beliefs that contradict what they are saying or who they claim to be.
For example: a person might complain about people who receive government assistance and say they should be self-sufficient, yet they are either still living at home with their parents or their parents still pay many of their bills – like being on their parents phone bill, Netflix account or insurance plans. They feel entitled to help, while others are not entitled to be helped.
I would say that this person is unsure about their own values and moral code – and that is definitely a lack of self-awareness.
I think philosophers like Aristotle and Lao Tzu were saying the same thing about the people of their time. – just as in ancient days, people today can be extremely unaware of their own beliefs and biases – but they can also be unaware of their own dreams and of their real gifts and purpose.
One thing I have learned about this principle of self-wisdom, or self-awareness is that it really is the first thing to tackle when you are trying to transform your life. You can’t move forward successfully if you are not self-aware. If you find you are stuck – look to the wisdom principle first. If you find your relationship is not as good as you would like – self-awareness is vital. If you want a new career, more money, more free time, more joy in your life – start by knowing yourself and what you would love.
Ask someone what they want in life, and they will probably say a big house, fancy car, and lots of money. We see our passions as something external – something material. They will have no idea what kind of career they would love to have so they can make that money to buy the car and house.
Who is the person you want to be? You might ask. And they’ll say the boss, he ceo, the person who is in charge at work, who maybe owns their own business – the person who brings in lots of money to do what they want.
And again you ask them, “what kind of business would you love to operate” – and they usually have no clue.
We do know what we want materially– we don’t know what we would love to spend our days doing so we can get the material things – we don’t know how we want to feel at the end of every day or what would bring us real joy and happiness – because it isn’t going to be the fancy car or big house if you are working 80 hours a week in a job you hate with no time to enjoy the car and the house and the people in it.
So let me ask you – “what impact would you like to make in your family – in your community – or in the world?’
Can you answer that question? Most people have no idea.
I remember asking a young client one time “what do you want to be remembered for?” and they said for being famous –
I asked, “famous for what?”
They had no idea. Just famous.
If you’ve heard my personal story, then you know that after age 7 years old I had a pretty tough life growing up. I was separated from my mom. My dad was an abusive alcoholic.
I’m not going to dive deeper into that story today, but when I grew up and went off to college and had freedom and a chance to get out of the survival mode I had been living in most of my childhood – I sank into a depression and eventually failed out of college.
One reason I failed is because I didn’t like the major I had chosen – or the second major I chose – or the third. I had no idea who I was or what I wanted to do with my life. I just knew I was supposed to get a college degree. No one told me in what subject.. and I had no ideas. I had been controlled so strictly – never made my own decisions – I was told I was stupid – incompetent – and unworthy.
Who would want to get to know someone like that? I sure didn’t! and I avoided thinking about my own hopes and dreams and values because I had no confidence in myself to be successful. And it took me thirty years of adulthood to work that out for myself and finally finish my degree in a subject I truly love – history.
For all of us, at some point as we grow up – we go from pretending to be our heroes…those great adults in amazing jobs that we look up to – the doctor, the fireman, wonder woman, the construction worker, or the teacher. We play dress up and take on those roles and have so much joy and fun. We wake up one day and we don’t know those people anymore – because the fireman with a family doesn’t usually drive the fancy car – and the teacher doesn’t usually live in the ginormous house.
Instead of imagining being people we admire with jobs we look up to, our daydreams become about things – objects, items, even attention.
We silence who we are so we can fit it with our peer group or our community because we fear our authentic self would never belong. We squash our dreams because we fear we won’t get approval from our families. We put off planning for a life we would love because we lack the confidence to step away from the comfort zone we are in because – “what if I fail?” “what if I am humiliated?” “what if people don’t respect me?” What if people stop loving me?
Self-Wisdom creates self-acceptance.
Hear that again. Self-wisdom creates self-acceptance. Where you don’t need to fit in especially where you don’t belong.
This is a harsh reality – especially in our patriarchal systems where we are expected to fit in and think the same as the others– we must sacrifice our individualism for the good of family or society. We normally don’t wake up to until later in life when the regrets start adding up – the woulda, coulda, shouldas… “I wish I had…”
We don’t dare to dream beyond the borders of what our family and community considers reasonable.
These 20th century philosophers said it perfectly:
When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh, it was beautiful, magical
And all the birds in the trees, well they’d be singing so happily
Oh, joyfully, oh, playfully watching me
But then they sent me away to teach me how to be sensible
Logical, oh, responsible, practical
Then they showed me a world where I could be so dependable
Oh, clinical, oh, intellectual, cynical
There are times when all the world’s asleep
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man
Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned?
I know it sounds absurd
Please tell me who I am
These were lyrics from Supertramp’s “logical song” from 1979.
But, the point, friends, is that we don’t know ourselves nearly as well as we should and so the world and our peers and our family get to tell us who we are.
Do you feel that??
But, we can – we can know ourselves and in self-mastery, or Life Mastery, self-wisdom is the place we begin to grow and expand beyond our comfort zones towards self-actualization.
Early in my journey of studying spiritual tools, I was presented with a wakeup call about self-awareness.
I had a neck injury – and I went to physical therapy and on the first visit the dr had me fill out a form with questions – one question was “what do you like to do in your free time?”
Okay – well, I had two teenagers at the time – who were both active in high school activities: band, dance, theater, football, track, tennis, and so on. So I answered the question with – “I like to watch whatever my kids are doing.”
When the physical therapist came in and read my answers he looked at me and shook his head and was like “girl, that’s not good – they are going to be out of the house in a couple years and then what are you gonna do?”
I had no idea at all. I wasn’t working at the time. I didn’t have a “career” – I had worked in schools and at nonprofits and little jobs that would give me as much time at home as possible.
I had no idea who I was and what I wanted outside of being a mom.
I had to get to know myself and what I found is that you can get to know yourself just like you get to know anyone else – you ask questions – you notice behavior – you listen to your words that you speak to yourself in you mind and to those you speak out loud to others.
What do I like to do the most?
What are my values?
Where am I unhappy with my life?
If I could do anything with my time what would that be?
If everything was perfect and I could have the life I want – what would that look like?
If I could have the perfect partner, or if I could be the perfect partner – what would that relationship be like? How would we handle problems? What kinds of things would we do for dates?
Ask yourself questions. Start a journal – pick a question to ask yourself and just write whatever comes to your mind – don’t censor yourself – don’t judge yourself – just write…
And when you find something about yourself that you didn’t know –make sure that you celebrate that! I Found out I had a long-held passion to go back to school and finish my degree. Maybe you’ll find your passion… maybe you’ll figure out what you want to really major in at University – maybe you’ll decide you want to move somewhere else, maybe you’ll figure out what you really want in a relationship. Maybe you’ll discover what career and what industry you would like to work in.
These new things you uncover – they are like puzzle pieces – and together they form a dream in your mind of what you would love for your life…. Where you want to live, what you want to be doing there, and who you want to be with – it’s a vision for your life that maybe you didn’t know you had or one that you had forgotten – or it’s a way to achieve a long-held dream that you never imagined you could.
Just thinking about it, I hope your life feels fuller already – and that you are inspired to dive deep into getting to know who you really are…
And start with one question – what would I love?
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