The 5 Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages is based on the book by Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. Jay and I took a workshop on the topic and we were blown away by this simple, yet profound wisdom in this training.  We learned a lot and it helped us get beyond a few blocks we were having in our marriage. 

I thought this was a great topic for “Love” week and Valentine’s day and shared about it on social media, the Choose Love Broadcast, and now in our Weekly Wisdom. 

You can catch the 50 minute broadcast replay video on our Facebook page, or click the #ChooseLove Broadcast tab in the menu above for the audio version. 

A love language is the way in which you best receive love.  It’s the way you feel most loved by the actions of another person.  Humans are complex and so not everyone responds to love signals the same.  It’s so important that you become aware of your own love language.  If you don’t know how you receive love, you aren’t able to communicate your needs to anyone else.

You might be a person who is uncomfortable with a lot of physical touch.  Maybe you don’t enjoy being hugged.  Another person might love giving hugs and think that they are expressing their love by hugging you when they see you.  This is how we can cause misunderstandings and hurt feelings in our relationships if we are neither self-aware of our own needs, nor not able to communicate them to others. 

The 5 Love Languages are:

  • Affirmations
  • Physical Touch
  • Thoughtful Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Service

Here are the images I shared about them this week.  You can learn more if you listen to the Broadcast.

(You may need to swipe the image to see all 5 on mobile view)

This information and self-awareness really help us communicate our needs to family, partners, and friends.  Also, it allows us to learn what the love language is of all those we love.  Knowing their needs helps us speak to them in their love language. 

One thing Jay and I discovered during the workshop was that we were both SERVICE givers of love.  We cooked, we helped others, we cleaned, we provided – that was how we gave love to others and to each other.  The problem was that neither of us found that our love language was SERVICE.  We both found our own needs and our own love language was something else on the list.  We weren’t receiving the energy intended by one another because we weren’t set up to receive love that way.

It’s easy to see how we used to get so frustrated with each other and feel like the other person didn’t care – we just weren’t speaking the right language to one another. 

This was true for all our relationships because we were not aware of their languages! Now we know and now we can make sure we are giving in a way those we love can receive.

This Valentine’s Day I think we are going to get it right and I hope you do too.  Just take some time to think about what language you speak and what language your significant other speaks – then plan your day with those needs in mind. 

Below is a chart I made with some suggested gifts and activities to offer your sweetheart this year. 

I hope it helps! 

Dr. Genie

Get the PDF version below:

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